The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life

The attachment theory argues that a strong emotional and physical bond to one primary caregiver in our first years of life is critical to our development. If our bonding is strong and we are securely attached, then we feel safe to explore the world. If our bond is weak, we feel insecurely attached. We are afraid to leave or explore a rather scary-looking world. Because we are not sure if we can return. Often we then don’t understand our own feelings.

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Dealing with Attachment Issues:
Dealing with Attachment Issues is no easy task. For those who feel like they can’t help themselves, or can’t find trust through their partners of family, we recommend looking for professional support through a therapy.

If you are able to form a secure attachment to a therapist, he can become the one who provides you with that secure base.

Here three of possible therapies:

1. Psychoanalysis. The aim of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e., make the unconscious conscious. In order to do that, the therapist might try to bring back some childhood memories, to work at the root cause of the problem.

2. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). CBT is a psycho-social intervention that is widely used for improving mental health. Instead of trying to bring you back in time, it aims to explain to you what’s going on inside your brain and how to cope with irrational feelings or fears.

3. The Hoffmann Process. This 7-8 day’s guided process, designed by the American psychologist Hoffmann, brings participants back into their childhood to reconnect with their parents at the time when an attachment is formed. It’s very intensive.


Havard Study

Minnesota Study

Further Readings:

Written by Yaipoo


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  1. Wtf… this is literally accurate. I have 3 brothers and I’m the only girl. I’m 2nd oldest too. My parents didn’t die though but they did get divorced while we were young. My older has a good gf and good income. He’s seen as the more prominent child out of us all. Me I didn’t really like attention as a kid and hate it as an adult but I am moody all the time and people think I’m just a grumpy person in general. I downgrade myself a lot too. My brother below me has problems opening up and keeping relationships too.

  2. An alternative title could be "how to blame your parents for everything that happens in your life"

    Ok ok, parents can be partially guilty (sometimes), but people, lets not forget our own responsability of our own acts

  3. The oldest memory I have is about my father was when I was playing with my toys on the balcony and I looked inside my house and I saw a cat walking towards me, then my father appeared, caught the cat by its neck and threw him against the wall. The cat hit the ground dead, I can clearly remember the look at the cat's face, blood running through its mouth and ears, that was the only memory I have about my father. I was 3-4 years old, my father died when I was 5. I have a bad memory, for me to remember something I have to review it by over and over, but I'll never forget about it. Imagine your friends asking questions about your father, Where he's? Where does he work? Where is your father? What do you remember about him?

  4. What if I am all these attachments at the same time, which I switch through every day even though I have a 6 member family, that is caring, strict, attentive, etc. I switch through shyness and being an extrovert on the flip of a dime?

  5. I'm a very trusting person who also have many friends. The first 7 years I had good attachment until the twins were born, the attachment became little to none. Things are 100% better now but I have many issues both mental and physical.

  6. im little Joe + Amy.
    i spent my first 20 years with my father's family.
    i have no problems with my parents, but my aunties and uncles always punish me everytime i make them dissapointed even when i have done my best. and they always mocking me and my family as the unintended family.
    i know they love me (when i sicked they take care of me and they help my school), but until this age, i dont know how to show my feeling. and always avoid any social contacts as much as i can.

  7. my childhood was amazing. loving parents, good grades, trustworthy friends and there should be no problem. however, my brain can't produce enough chemicals to maintain happiness so if i act with ambient avoidance but my childhood was good, what does that mean?

  8. Am I the only one who had a good childhood until I became a preteen and that’s when everything went downhill ? Especially since the recession of 2008 started when I was a preteen. I feel like what I went through as a preteen and teenager still affects me in adulthood to the point I had to get therapy.

  9. Social Services needs to know about this so they stop ripping kids from their parents and randomly dismantling countless families, so we can look forward to generations of future trauma victims, caused by their actions "in the best interests of the child".

  10. This is why paid Maternity leave for AT LEAST 6 months is so important. Babies need their moms. And mommy’s need their babies. It’s literally for mental health. I don’t understand why is is proved over and over again and some people still think moms should be fine to go back to work 6 weeks or even sooner after birth.

  11. Smart people attach to Jesus Christ, your soul doesn't belong to a human and relationship's are bonded and built through the mind of Christ,in order for a lasting union and a thriving one this is required ! Lust is a fail and a trap !

  12. Incredibly interesting, but it left me with more questions than answers! All the same, I now have something new and fulfilling to read about instead of politics!

  13. This is why every couple or person expecting a baby should be required to take parenting classes, child psychology classes, and fulfill a certain amount of observation or volunteer hours at a school or nursery. We must do these things when acquiring a driver's license or a degree at school, and yet to raise a child we enforce zero knowledge on the subject.

  14. My mum always u know be's very protective and doesn't let me go out ANYWHERE( ie I've never been out with friends before) yet she shouts at me for not going out when I'm not actually allowed to….

  15. Seems to make good sense but where does it leave the single parent family, now so common, where all children inevitably risk insecure attachment unless the parent is self sufficient without needing to work

  16. Doubt I will ever be able to form a healthy relationship with anybody. Parents do not interact with each other yet we all still live together. Dad is somewhat controlling, belittles me every chance he can get. Mom is an extreme helicopter parent. I have no siblings so nobody to talk to; I stopped trying to make deep connections with friends when I was in elementary school because we don't have much money so I have nothing really to offer. My social skills are horrible, I believe I might have Asperger's because I never knew social cues were a thing until I literally read about them last year, I can't even form lasting conversations with my own parents. I have adapted with my keen sense of humor though. Btw my BMI qualified for severe anorexia a couple of years ago. I am completely undesirable by all means, people like me from afar but when it comes down to it they would rather hang out with other ppl. Came to the conclusion that money is what will save me, going off to college next year wish me luck. If it helps I believe my mother formed a secure attachment with me in my early years of life. I have terrible anxiety btw I can't even speak up in class anymore without stuttering, I wasn't like this when I was younger even though I have always been an introvert. Thoughts?

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