A day doesn’t go by on Twitter when you can’t find jokes of the utmost cheesiness with very little effort, but they’re usually flooded with replies of “groan”, “ouch” and other words we won’t write because we’re fundamentally nice people. However, for one day only, those very jokes are literally encouraged and celebrated rather than scorned, because it’s UK Pun Day, or #UKPunDay, if you’re wondering where to find these gems.
We think these 21 are perfect examples of the dad joke – or mum joke, because we’re not sexist either. Enjoy.
Spotted Jeremy Corbyn in a North London restaurant last night. When the seafood platter arrived, he walked around the place offering food to all and sundry. When a journalist asked what he was doing, he replied: “redistributing the whelks” #UKPunDay
— Luke McGee (@lukemcgee) February 11, 2019
BREAKING : A man was admitted to hospital this morning with several plastic horses in his stomach.
A hospital spokesperson has reported that he is now in a stable condition.. ? ? #pun1????
— tis me. Nic (@thisismenic70) February 11, 2019
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.
Things got a little tense. #UKPunDay
— Ben Moore (@80Moore) February 11, 2019
I used to date an air stewardess from Helsinki. I dropped her off at work one day and she just vanished into Finnair… #UKPunDay
— ? The Dad Joke Man ? (@DadJokeMan) February 11, 2019
I’ve written a book called ‘How to be a Ladder Horder’.
It’s a step buy step buy step buy step guide.#UKPUNDAY
— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) February 11, 2019
I went to that new Mary Poppins restaurant last night.
Super cauliflower cheese, the lobster was atrocious. #UKPunDay
— GoodbyeJumbo (@goodbyejumbo) February 11, 2019
Have you seen drunk people trying to walk?
— Enough Of That Now (@AndyGilder) February 11, 2019
The optician asked if I could read the names on the chart
Damon Albarn, Graham Coxon, Alex James, Dave Rowntree
— peanut (@angrypeanut4) February 11, 2019
Teacher: Can anyone tell me any African countries that sell Nike and Adidas trainers?
Little Johnny: Angola?
Teacher: No, just Nike and Adidas.#UKPunday
— Julian Lee (@JulianLeeComedy) February 11, 2019
I’d like to see a cross between the car from The Dukes Of Hazzard, and the car from Knight Rider… generally speaking. #UKpunday
— Neil (@_Enanem_) February 11, 2019
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies #UKPunDay
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) February 11, 2019
I’m dating a girl from the zoo
I think she’s a keeper #ukpunday
— Gary Miller (@gazgagsman) February 11, 2019
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