Some of the most egregious character tropes in film — the professor who underlines a word on the board to start class, the writer who never pitches anything but is somehow always working — have found their way into a meme.
On Tuesday, Rory Turnbull, an assistant professor of linguistics at the University of Hawaii in Manoa tweeted about a film trope he’d noticed — one that you have also noticed, probably, in every single movie with a classroom scene. “Hello, I’m a professor in a movie, I only reach the point of my lecture right as class is ending,” he wrote. “Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.”
Hello, I’m a professor in a movie, I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.
— Rory Turnbull (@_roryturnbull) January 1, 2019
After Turnbull’s tweet, dozens of people shared other character types that aren’t necessarily lazy, per se — they just allow for shocking narrative expedience and probably wouldn’t fly IRL.
Okay, fine, some of them are very lazy.
Hello, I’m a professor in a movie, I have an uncanny knack for picking on Mr/Ms Who-isn’t-paying-attention at this moment (I know the names of every student in my 200+ lecture) without looking up. The student is a genius who instinctively knows the answer.
— Prof Andrew Scholey (@Scholey) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a writer in a movie. I write one piece a week and live in a two bedroom New York apartment with a walk-in wardrobe. Also I never actually pitch anywhere, the jobs just come to me. https://t.co/YyuPjYgEyP
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) January 3, 2019
Hi, I’m the youngest member of this special ops team. My wife just gave birth and I’m nervous about my first mission, but confident nothing terrible will happen to me in the first scene.
— Dennis ⚡️ (@DennisRossdale) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a fat girl in a movie. I exist to be the butt of everyone’s jokes. I’m either relentlessly sunny or totally unlikeable. I’m allowed to be funny, but no one can ever be attracted to me unless they are pathetic or scorned for it. I dress badly & can’t groom myself. https://t.co/Xv0JjKxzVf
— Mari Brighe (@MariBrighe) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a doctor in a movie. I use defib on a flatlined patient instead of adrenaline, despite knowing that a flatline is the goal of defibrillation. I also do CPR compressions wrong. I use my position of authority to pressure an underling into a romantic relationship. https://t.co/5dPwFiZifJ
— Be More Kind (@ChrisMartinPr) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a reporter in a movie. I have three months in which to file a story and it’s about the person I’m falling in love with. My editor is as much a mentor as a boss.
— KP Jordan (@failingjordan) January 3, 2019
Hello, i’m the editor in this movie. I have an unlimited budget for writers and no deadlines. I think this story is a surefire hit and have no qualms about the ethics of sleeping with sources.
— Karen Willenbrecht (@kdbrecht) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a lawyer in a movie. Every case is a lengthy jury trial where I’m totally outmatched & losing the entire time. Then, at the final possible moment I have a stroke of genius that no one ever thought of & win the case hands down. https://t.co/JjvS7Aa42O
— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) January 3, 2019
hello I’m a fruit cart vendor in a movie. I hope no one fucks up my fruit today!!
— You, 23andMe, and Dupree (@killakow) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a literary agent in a movie. No one seems to understand that my job is different from being a book editor. I seem to have a client list consisting of one author, whom I visit a lot and also take to lunch/dinner on a weekly basis. I wear a ton of statement jewelry.
— Ginger Clark (@Ginger_Clark) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m an programmer in a movie. I’m white, male, and conspicuously nerdy, and everything I code works on the first try. I’m the Best Coder because I’m a fast typist, and I type extra fast in programming emergencies. I never Google error messages. There are no error messages. https://t.co/uQiKv18zkc
— Ana Mardoll (@AnaMardoll) January 3, 2019
Hello, I’m a bisexual woman in a movie. I’m evil, sexy, slutty, and hit on everything that moves. I prey on vulnerable young women, seduce upstanding guys with my wiles, and cheat on all my partners. You’ll know I’m bi bc I’ll mention or show it roughly every 2 second. https://t.co/7gN6efxPgm
— Faerunner (@ElfFromDenerim) January 3, 2019
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to take six months to write a sprawling personal essay about our love lives. The budget is unlimited.
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