The Philadelphia Flyers revealed its new mascot Gritty — and he will haunt you for the rest of your foreseeable days.
The scraggly, googly-eyed, orange-haired mascot was made public Monday morning, and looks like the result of an unholy union between the Babadook and a Muppet from Fraggle Rock.
Gritty is probably the last thing anyone needs, or wants to see at any sports arena. But hey, here we are.
Though, perhaps worse than the mascot’s appearance is his name. According to the Flyers’ website, Gritty got his, uh, unique nickname “for possessing an attitude so similar to the team he follows.”
That makes sense, I suppose. But the website also contains some additional and somewhat troubling information regarding Gritty’s backstory, like the fact that his father was a “bully,” he eats ice straight from the Zamboni machine, and has a voracious love of hot dogs.
Really makes you wonder whose job it is to create mascots, and whether or not they’re OK.
Naturally, the internet has been having some pretty strong reactions to Gritty’s reveal, wavering from frightened to slightly less frightened, calling Gritty both “nightmare fuel” and “an absolute dream haunter.”
The sports blog Crossing Broad even published an article titled, “The Flyers’ New Mascot Is Here To Murder You.” And, honestly, I don’t know that they’re wrong.
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mascot Gritty
— Down Goes Brown (@DownGoesBrown) September 24, 2018
Welp, looks like Gritty’s here to stay. Here’s hoping he cheers the Flyers onto victory and is unable to enter into our unconscious without our consent.
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